Lessons from a coin about worthiness and writing
Do you like building puzzles? I know I do. There is such a huge variety and I can never choose one. I have found myself distracted by the artwork and not building the puzzle because it is so beautiful. The puzzle pieces stay in the box because the artwork is more enticing.
The same can is true for over-rationalizing emotions. We become busy living our lives and then miss out on genuine understanding of our feelings. This can impact our well-being since we are hiding emotions by over-rationalising them.
The Problem
rfHas this ever happened to you? A great opportunity comes your way, but for some reason you can’t take it up. You recognise the opportunity and the fact that you can’t take it on at the moment. It fills you with guilt, shame, and anger. Since you are not connected to yourself, you find you make up an excuse, and you end up ignoring the emotions.
I’ve seen it happen in my own life and so many others. For instance you have the opportunity to for a partial scholarship. You jump in and confirm why you can’t pay it forward now. Instead you try to make yourself feel better by rationalizing your feelings. “Not being enough” or “Not being worthy” crops up like a burglar in the night. You are making yourself smaller and trying to make you feel worthy at the same time. You are denying difficult emotions by rationalizing them.
This can have a knock on effect and you may find yourself struggling with mental and physical health.
How to stop the cycle of self-judgement
To stop the cycle of judgement and rationalization, we have to become more connected to ourselves and our emotions. There is a lot of truth in the saying “To heal, you have to feel.” We are running on autopilot and we don’t even realize we are doing this.
Being enough, being worthy is part or our DNA. If we stop for a moment and realize we don’t need to give a reason, it is okay and that we are still worthy.
Being able to pay for something doesn’t make you worthy – you are already worthy. It is better to examine the feelings that may arise when we attach a reason to something.
Instead of saying “I can’t do this now because I am unemployed.” , rather say “ I can’t do this now, and it’s okay.” No one needs to know your reason. Deal with the feelings attached to the reason. Repeat this mantra instead:”Even though this situation isn’t ideal and it brings up feelings of xyz, it is okay. I am still worthy no matter what comes up.”
If you don’t deal with the feelings and keep on rationalizing them, they will come back to bite. It’s better to deal with them than to have other problems because you don’t deal with them.
How to connect better to your emotions
Deprogramming yourself from auto-pilot isn’t an easy task. We tend to avoid what we don’t want to deal with. For emotional wellbeing, it’s important that we connect to ourselves and our emotions. Journaling is an effective way to connect to yourself and being more present.
You can also work on saying “ I am here, I am present.” , and see what happens when you practice more presence in your life.
How to connect better to your emotions
Deprogramming yourself from auto-pilot isn’t an easy task. We tend to avoid what we don’t want to deal with. For emotional wellbeing, it’s important that we connect to ourselves and our emotions. Journaling is an effective way to connect to yourself and being more present.
You can also work on saying “ I am here, I am present.” , and see what happens when you practice more presence in your life.
Breaking the Cycle
When you become aware of these patterns of operating you will break the cycle of dysfunction”. You will be fine with what is going on in your life at this moment. Life isn’t one sided, but is more like a roller coaster. We need to become more comfortable to ride both the highs and lows ,and integrate both the good and bad in ourselves.